


tracing our way through the constellations

by agentmmayy



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Retirement, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:35:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentmmayy/pseuds/agentmmayy
Summary: On a cold December night, Phil and Melinda stargaze.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 27
Kudos: 74





	tracing our way through the constellations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ellsey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellsey/gifts).



> written for the aos geminids exchange for Ellsey! hope you enjoy :) this is set after s4 where they didn't go to space lol

May laid her legs out on the blanket and tucked the sleeves of her sweater over her hands before putting them behind her. It was still too early for snow, but the ground was hard and cold, offering little support or comfort even with a blanket laid overtop it. Someone- probably Daisy- left the blanket out, but May didn’t have enough energy to be annoyed. Leaning back, she tilted her head up, finding the stars she’d been gazing up at for the past hour or two. They winked back. 

The back patio door slid open. For the first time that day, no noise immediately followed it, flowing out of the house and into the yard. Instead, there were only subdued footsteps that padded around the patio for a few seconds before the door slid shut. They continued, muffled slightly by the grass as Phil made his way to the middle of the yard where May sat. When he stopped by May’s side, she tipped her head back to look up at him. He smiled, face partially obscured by white steam that billowed from the two mugs in his hands. In the dim light, Melinda recognized them as the gaudy matching Mr. and Mrs. Clause ones Hunter cheekily gifted them earlier in the night. 

“Hey.” Phil bent down, offering May the Mrs. Clause mug where the rounded tip of a peppermint stick swirled around the rim. “Extra peppermint just for you.”

Melinda took the offered cup. A shiver went through her as the heat seeped into her palms. She didn’t realize how cold she really was. The scent of peppermint rose above the cocoa, curling sharp in her nose and tickling her throat. “Thanks.”

Hot chocolate was the only holiday drink May liked except for Maria’s spiked eggnog. At first, Phil was surprised. Then again, May had a giant sweet tooth, especially around the holidays. She took the second mug when Phil handed it to her and held them, cradling their warmth as Phil carefully lowered himself onto the ground behind her. 

“I finally managed to get Fitz and Simmons to leave a few minutes ago,” Phil said as he settled on the blanket. “Daisy’s on the couch watching a Christmas special, but she won’t last long.”

May nodded and felt any remaining tension disappear. While she loved having their team, their family, at the house after a while, their presence grew stifling. She and Phil hosted a Christmas party that night though preparations began early in the morning. By noon, Melinda was ready to retreat to the basement. By ten she wanted to lock herself in the bedroom but slipped out the back door instead. A few people had left already, and those that lingered knew not to disturb her. Except for Phil, but she didn’t mind his company. Especially not now when he provided warmth the cool night didn’t immediately chase away. Phil’s chest was flush against Melinda’s back, and his legs bracketed hers on either side. He had one arm tucked around her waist while the other held his mug up to his mouth as he blew over the surface, trying to cool the drink down. With a grin, Melinda tilted her chin and brushed her lips over Phil’s throat just to hear his breath catch and the breath he blew splutter through the hot chocolate. 

Finally, their drinks chilled to a temperature that didn’t guarantee a burnt tongue. Melinda brought the mug to her lips, breathing in the lingering steam before taking a sip. Heat slipped down her throat, blossoming inside her chest. With a content sigh, Melinda sank back into Phil, hugging his arm tighter around her middle. She placed her hand over his, fingers slipping between Phil’s. Hot, slightly damp lips pressed to her skin as Phil kissed her temple. He smelled like hot chocolate and the peppermint schnapps they drank with the team. Melinda breathed it in before the breeze could take it away. 

As he turned his eyes to the sky, Phil made a faint sound of delight. “Clear night.”

May hummed in agreement, glancing up at the stars over the rim of her mug. The night was unusually clear for mid-December. 

“I used to stargaze with my dad.”

Melinda licked a melted marshmallow off her top lip and looked at him. “I didn’t know that.”

“It wasn’t something we did often,” he told her. “Mainly on clear nights during the summer or when he came along on the Boy Scout camping trips.” Phil paused. “His favorite constellation was Hercules.”

“Any particular reason why?”

“He said because of the myth, but I think because it was the easiest one to find and point out,” Phil said with a chuckle that was more melancholic than amused. He glanced down at Melinda.   
“What about you? Did you stargaze a lot?”

She shook her head. “Not until I started flying.” Age twenty. Wide-eyed and determined. “No matter where we moved, it was never a place you could really see anything. This is nothing compared to being up there. The cockpit is like a personal planetarium; when you get above thirty-six thousand feet, you can almost touch the stars.”

“It sounds beautiful.”

May nodded. “It is.”

The cockpit was her sanctuary, but more so on those clear nights. In the Bus, May could push any worries she had about Phil and any guilt about lying to him to the back of her mind and focus on the stars. Even on the nights fear didn’t grip her heart, she’d remain there, quietly nurturing the spark of joy hearing the team through the intercom gave her. When they moved to the Playground, and she no longer was able to sit in her plane and watch the sky, Melinda took to sitting on the grassy roof. Out in the middle of nowhere with only trees surrounding her, the sky was still visible, just farther away. It was the same way at her and Phil’s home. The times May felt disconnected from herself, or when the burden of that came with being affiliated with Shield for so long overwhelmed her, Melinda would sneak up to the roof to sit. The stars were a constant, a touchstone for Melinda when the world around her crumbled both literally and figuratively. The stars hadn’t moved, but Melinda’s universe shifted. Now it was behind her, not above her. 

She tipped her head back against Phil’s shoulder. “What was your favorite constellation?”

“I liked Centaurus,” he said. “But, you can’t see that one now.” 

“Which is your favorite now?”

“I haven’t had the luxury to watch the stars enough to have one.” His voice tinged with regret. “You?”

“Ursa Minor.” Taking her hand from his, Melinda gestured to the sky before them. “It’s right over there.”

“Really?” Phil asked. At her curious look, he explained, “I thought with all the stargazing, you’d have a fancier one.”

May shrugged. Her gaze strayed to the constellation where, at the tail end, a bright star winked. “Finding the north star was one of the first things I can remember my mother teaching me how to do. When I was five, we briefly lived in the country next to a strip of forest. I guess she thought if I wandered into it and couldn’t find my way back, it would help me.”

“Is that how you always got the highest marks in survival training?”

She scoffed. “That and I have common sense.”

Chuckling, Phil lifted his head away from where he had his chin hooked over Melinda’s shoulder as he took the last dreg of his hot chocolate. By now, what remained of Melinda’s were stray granules pooled at the bottom of the mug and a thin sliver of peppermint stuck to the side. She ran her tongue over her teeth, enjoying how peppermint pricked at her tastebuds. The ceramic of her mug lost all its heat and only remained warm under Melinda’s hands, which were beginning to chill. There was no use holding onto it. She suppressed a shiver and set it aside where the cup clanked against Phil’s. 

“Here.” Before she could ask, the weight of a blanket settled across her shoulders as Phil pulled it tight around them. “I thought we might need this.” 

The blanket, the one normally haphazardly thrown over the back of the couch, was thick and warm, blocking out the cool breeze that seemed to have picked up. May sighed, clutching the frayed ends between her fingers. Phil pressed in close to her again, arms wrapping securely around her waist. She tucked her head under Phil’s chin, timing his heartbeat she felt against her back. 

He kissed the top of her head, breath ruffling her hair as he asked, “What else is up there tonight?”

Melinda leaned against Phil, angling herself to see the stars better. The late hour and absence of clouds offered excellent visibility. She managed to pry a hand from holding the blanket and pointed. She’s already showed him Ursa Minor, so she moved to the next constellation. “Ursa Major.”

Her finger followed the pattern, Melinda, by now had memorized. “That’s a big one.”

“It is called major.” She moved her hand to the left, tucking the blanket in around them as she rested her elbow on Phil’s arm. “There’s Cepheus. Lacerta. Cassiopeia.”

“Where?”

“Right there.”

Phil squinted. “Where?”

“Where I’m pointing to.” With a huff of frustration, Melinda grabbed Phil’s left hand. She slipped her fingers through his before using their joined hands to point up at the sky. “There.” 

Their index fingers pushed together, pointing straight to the brightest star in the constellation. Beta Cassiopeiae. Phil’s finger overlapped Melinda’s by a few centimeters, illuminated by the moonlight and warmed by the lights on the back porch behind them. 

“Ah,” Phil said. “There.”

“It begins here.” Melinda moved their hands, tracing the pattern of the constellation with the tips of their fingers. Cassiopeia wasn’t that large of a constellation, but the W-shaped pattern was unique. “And ends here.”

“What’s next?”

They continued to trace over the different constellations Melinda pointed out, even going back over the ones she pointed out before. Where their thumbs overlapped from their joined hands, the pad of Phil’s caressed Melinda’s knuckle the entire time. Soon, they ran out of constellations just above the horizon. 

Melinda tilted her head back onto Phil’s shoulder, eyes searching the night sky. “Perseus should be up there.”

Instead of following her lead, Phil brought their hands under the blanket, resting them on Melinda’s stomach. He shifted, moving to cross his legs up beneath her. Both their knees creaked as they moved. It wasn’t good for either of them to stay out in the cold so long, but Melinda couldn’t bring herself to get up and go inside. Above them stood Perseus, painted across the dark sky in an outline only Melinda could see. Next to it laid Auriga, identifiable by the brilliantly bright star Capella. It almost felt like she was back in her cockpit, leaning her elbows on the controls as she saw the constellations for the first time. But there was no chair or floor beneath her. Melinda sat in the cradle of Phil’s lap, gazing up at the stars. Her eyes slipped closed as Phil kissed her temple, then the delicate space right under her eye. He rested his cheek there, breath warm and sweet against her skin. 

Suddenly, the still night became alive with movement. A thin, bright light streaked across the sky so quickly Melinda was almost sure she imagined it, but Phil’s awed gasp assured her she didn’t. A shooting star. 

May tilted her chin up to look at Phil, confused at his silence. "You're not going to make a wish?"

The soft smile he gave her made the corners of his eyes crinkle, and Melinda’s heart speed up. Phil tucked her closer to him, lips brushing her cheek as he said, "I have everything I've ever wished for right here." 

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips. To hide it, Melinda turned her head and kissed him. The stars twinkled above them like the lights strewn across the back porch and the ones on the Christmas tree in the window behind them. While Melinda would never be able to touch the stars or get any closer than in a cockpit, she had the two brightest points of her universe with her, and that was enough. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
